We lose visibility of who we are meant to be by trying to be who we think we are supposed to be

@hellonecole’s recent post resonated deeply for me. “Normalize finding love in your 40’s. Normalize discovering and chasing new dreams in your 30s. Normalize finding yourself and your purpose in your 50’s. Life doesn’t end at 25. Let’s stop acting like it does.” I remember saying to my 15 year old daughter when I was in my 40s “we are both striving to look like the same 25 year old person, it’s so messed up.” 10 years later, it seems we have not progressed much! @Glennondoyle’s Untamed echoes these same sentiments. Boundaries and expectations that are societal and pre-constructed, do not allow us to develop at our own pace into our own beings.The pressure, to have achieved milestones by preconceived ages; travel around the world with Instagram albums full of your adventures by age _, meet your perfect future spouse and get married by age _, have a family by age _, have a fulfilling and high paying job simultaneously across all previously mentioned milestones. This is not only ridiculous, but damaging. We lose visibility of who we are meant to be by trying to be who we think we are supposed to be. Real life does not fit nicely into a prescribed timeline and we need to stop acting like it does. 

I loved being a mother, it was a driving force in my life. It gave me a compass with which to make decisions and provided clear goals for achievement. Once my children were grown and out on their own, I felt extremely lost. Who was I in this world? What were my guideposts for decision making if not setting an example? I flopped around trying to set goals that seemed superficial and meaningless. Self exploration is uncomfortable, messy and time consuming. And even worse, once you hit a certain age, you’re “supposed” to have it together. There was a sense of invisibility that I felt because I struggled by myself. I was gasping for air but those around me couldn’t quite understand what I needed. How could they when I didn’t know myself? I had to test myself and try new things and sometimes put myself out there more than I was comfortable with to find my way. For the first time in a very, very long time, I feel like I am finding myself. I have found a new purpose that gives my life direction and meaning. At 56, I have it in my sights as to who I am meant to be. If you have read Untamed, you will understand when I say that I am a goddamned cheetah! If you haven’t read it yet, you are a goddamned cheetah, you just don’t know it yet.



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